Psychology textbook diagrams never cease to amaze me
ok y'all this isn’t a psych textbook gaslighting you into thinking it’s normal and ok for your boss to yell at you, it’s specifically about understanding that other people’s treatment of you is usually more about them than you.
If your boss is pissy with you, it’s absolutely more healthy to understand that behavior as a reflection of his mental state rather than of your worth as an employee.
It’s not a psych textbook’s job to advise you how to improve your workplace or say what is/isn’t acceptable treatment by a boss. It’s an example of detaching your own self-worth from how other people treat you.
^^THIS!
In fact, if you let yourself think of other people’s treatment as a reflection on YOU more than it is on THEM, it can prevent you from getting things done.
Or, in other words,
ok, im rb'ing this again because this actually helped me finally be able to take advantage of cognitive restructuring in a way i’ve struggled to do for a long time. Ive been able to get to the my boss was having a bad day part, but i’ve always struggled to use that mental change to do something that would improve the situation. but because of this diagram, i THINK ive got it figured out. Here’s a rough explanation of how I interperet this.
Real life example:
Boss yelling: My mom is snapping at me, calling me “disrespectful” no matter how I speak to her, and getting mad at me for having missing assignments He was having a bad day: She’s stressed due to my grandma being in the hospital He shouldn’t take it out on me: just because she’s stressed doesn’t mean she gets to be mean to me. Unionize: I advocate for myself, saying that I’m not being disrespectful and that it’s okay to have missing assignments because I’m doing my best Fuck his wife: I am unapologetically proud of myself for what i manage to do in a day, especially if my mom disapproves of it or doesn’t view it as productive, as my own little “fuck you” to her.
End result: no depression.
This actually works and its amazing. Thanks to the meme side of tumblr for accidentally developing a highly effective method for coping with people who treat you like shit
i hope you realise i have immediately added ‘unionise! fuck his wife! no depression!’ to my mantras for living
I fucking LOVE when it’s requited love but they’re both dumbasses!!!!! Yeah they’re both head over heels but they can’t see the other ones heart eyes this trope makes me WILD
I was in line at Aldi and this girl with two toddlers in front of me had her card declined and she looked so fucking sad and said “let me call my husband real quick” and it was only 18 dollars, so I just paid for it, and she was very sweet and then as she walked off, the lady behind me said `”You know that was probably a scam, right?” and like, even if it was, like what a sad fucking scam, right? 18 dollars at the Aldi. If you’re “scamming” me for some Tyson chicken and apple juice and cauliflower, then just take my fucking money.
“A scam” people are fucking wild.
This happened to me, too. A woman had used WIC for the majority of her stuff (which I say from personal experience is such a long and embarrassing process) and to buy the remainder of her groceries, which included diapers and wipes, she used a card, and it got declined. I bought the other $30 of her groceries because hey, I’ve been there, and now I’m not. She was extremely emotional and began to cry and even hugged me. My mom called me on the drive home and could tell I had been crying myself, asked what was wrong, and when I told her what happened, she berated me for being “duped.” I couldn’t believe she could be so disappointed in one of her children for doing something- nice? Is that the hill you want to die on? Getting mad about people needing groceries?
I once paid for a woman’s bill at the vet…it wasn’t a big one, but she was trying to pay for some medication for her dog, and her card was declined. And her lip started trembling, and she says “I don’t get paid until Tuesday, would he be ok until then?”
So I just told them to add the $20 something onto my bill, and I thought she was going to break down crying right there.
And I don’t care if it was a scam or not. Just do nice things for people sometimes.
Do good recklessly.
I think “Do good recklessly” would be fantastic word art to hang on one’s wall. Artistic people, go!
So this has happened to me but from the other side. Several years ago when my oldest was around three or so, I had my debit card decline at Walmart. It wasn’t a scam or a mistake, I was genuinely broke. Out of money. I checked my bank and discovered I had something like 7 dollars left to my name and a hungry kid and nothing to eat at home. So I sat there trying to come up with the best way to stretch that tiny amount of money to feed my kid. Not even to feed me. I can live on popcorn or something if I have to but my kid was three and he had to eat. So there I am trying really hard not to cry while I slowly take things out of my basket to get it down to under 7 bucks, when a lady tapped me on the shoulder. I looked up and she smiled at me and started putting the things back in my cart. I opened my mouth to tell her that I didn’t have the money for them but she stopped me right away and said “Don’t worry about it. It’s gonna be fine.” Then she handed the cashier her credit card and said “Ring up all of it.” My kid got to eat because of her. I got to eat because of her. I had laundry soap and deodorant because of her. She could’ve just ignored me silently struggling in that line. She could’ve decided I was a scam and gone home feeling good about avoiding being duped. But instead she chose to help me and she saved us. So maybe the person struggling in front of you is trying to put one over on you or maybe they are just sad and broke and trying to figure out what to do. You get to decide which you want to believe and what you want to do. But I’ll tell y’all, no one has ever been more beautiful to me than that lady in that line who saved me and my baby. Be like her. Be beautiful.
Do good recklessly
DO BETTER. BE BETTER. STRIVE TO BE BETTER.
DO GOOD RECKLESSLY
One time, my dad and I were living the grocery store and there was a guy outside asking for money to buy some stuff to take home for his kids. It was around Christmas time. My dad asked him if he could give him groceries instead of money, and the guy immediately said yes, so my dad gave him one of everything we bought (meat, rice, some chocolates, milk, oil). At that time, my dad hadn’t gotten his paycheck because the company he worked for was going through a tough time, but he didn’t care, he saw an opportunity to help someone and he did.
Another time, my dad gave 50 bucks to a guy who said he needed to buy medicine for his kids. I told my dad he was probably going to spend the money on alcohol or something, but my dad said that “whether he was lying or not says something about HIS character, but hearing someone in need and choosing not to help when I have the means to says something about mine”.
I never forget that.
“whether he was lying or not says something about HIS character, but hearing someone in need and choosing not to help when I have the means to says something about mine”
louder, for the people in the back
I was just one of those people on the other side. In Food Lion a couple days ago, late at night, my eighteen-month-old half-asleep on my shoulder. The magnetic stripe on my card is chipped. $13. Couldn’t manage to pay.
Turned to the one guy in line behind me to ask him if he wanted to go ahead while I ran out to the car for an alternate payment method. Barely got halfway through my sentence before he just… reached over and paid.
I about broke down in tears.
I agree with the lady above who said; there is no one more beautiful than that kind random stranger.
